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I´m right now in one of my favourite places in the world: Kalymnos. The climbing paradise in Greece. I´m here on my honeymoon with my husband (got married last week) and this trip have been more chill then climbing I have to admit. I´m quite exhausted from a busy winter so I´m having some well needed rest & recovery. I also have to admit that it´s too warm here now. I promised myself this is the last time I will go here in the end of May. As a Swede I´m not made for this heat. I can´t function.

It´s only 2 weeks left until the next stage of 82 Peaks and I feel really stressed out about it because I have not been able to train properly lately. And here it´s impossible. I try to wakeup at 06:00 to go out for a quick 5k run before the sun comes up but that only happened twice so far so I´m stressing about not getting the training in that I need for the next stage of the project. I already told my partner that the next stage we need to take it very easy, not push hard and not go too fast because I will not be in the best shape. Luckily she understands and since we are not on a deadline it´s ok. That is one of the best things with the project: That we don´t have a deadline for it.

There is another Swede doing the 82 peaks in 82 days and he started a week ago. He had a good start with 5 summits in a few days but then bad weather hit and he couldn´t climb for a few days and that must be so stressing if you are on a deadline. I hope he can continue soon. He looks super strong and fit (not like me).

Anyway I wanted to talk about something else: Climbing and how much I suck at it right now!

I have barley climbed the last two years due to my achilles tendinitis that I had. I could not even put climbing shoes on because it hurt so bad. I have climbed a little bit in climbing boots but not much at all and climbing is really a sport where your use specific muscles and if you do not climb on a regular basis they go away fast. This has always been my problem, I don´t spend enough time on a regular basis to build up this specific strength. In combination with gaining some weight the last months I feel really weak.

When I feel weak in climbing I have no self esteem. And this means I´m more of a coward than ever!

I´m fine with being a very mediocre climber. That is totally ok. But it´s hard when you are not even that. When your mind freak you out on an easy route just because the next bolt is a little bit far away. Or if you can´t trust you can do a move just because you don´t feel strong enough for it. I don´t like this feeling at all. Throw in PMS and the worst cramps in the mix and you feel like you are at the bottom. This is me right now.

But I guess the good news is that it can only get better from here. I just wish it wasn´t so damn hot so I actually could go out and climb a little. Instead I´m in the hotel room doing a new course. I really want to keep developing so I decided to educate myself more. I just started a course to become a coach in endurance sports. I like the idea of having this knowledge for the mountains and maybe be able to help other train for their goals.

I just need to get back to training myself first 🙂

Photo of Kai climbing from mine and Matilda Söderlunds climbing trip to Kalymnos in 2019. Want to join us in November (when it´s not as hot as now)? More info here!

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